三、抄襲句式型
As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.
點評:Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學(xué)到的,很多同學(xué)在用。但你要知道,老外最恨抄襲,最喜原創(chuàng),所以利害關(guān)系大家想想吧。
四、救世主型
I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, …
點評:一副救世主的形象,小時候就受富蘭克林的影響,立志改變世界。個人陳述的寫作一定要個人化具體化,別吹大牛,甚至帶著一種霸權(quán)主義思維。
五、猶抱琵琶型
Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.
點評:重點放在自己要做重大決定上了,人生的轉(zhuǎn)折點,然后來上句所謂名言警句。浪費(fèi)字?jǐn)?shù),有限的字?jǐn)?shù)里,同學(xué)們應(yīng)該學(xué)會直接,并且抓住重點,突出自己最有優(yōu)勢的方面,最有特色的方面。
六、言幼稚型
'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle.
點評:上來就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠(yuǎn)大抱負(fù),who cares。個人陳述字?jǐn)?shù)有限,卻用這么多話描述童年,沒有任何意義。學(xué)校想知道你如何看待未來,而不是如何度過過去。